Thursday, March 18, 2010

The Sounds


Two and a half years ago, Bob made the big move out of our bed and into his own. In an effort to reinforce his bedtime routine, we bought him a noise machine, or as he calls it The Sounds. The machine offers eight different themes such as “Sunset Beach”, “Spring Meadow”, and “Creekside.” We let Bob choose his favorite and he went with “Rain Storm.” In his room, it rained all night, every night. It's a miracle that he is not a bed-wetter.

The other evening as I was tucking Bob into bed he said, “I think I’m done with The Sounds.”

“Alright. You mean just for tonight?”

“No, I think I’m done for always. I want to hear the world.”

I turned off The Sounds and thought about this tiny milestone. This was a sneaky one and I hadn’t expected it. It was another nudge from baby to boy. We sat, holding hands and listened. The real sounds of the world offered a distant motorcycle, the barking of a neighbor’s dog, an airplane.

“Mama, I don’t think you need to hold my hand while I fall asleep anymore.”

Now this was too fast. With my next exhale he would be borrowing the car and showing me some piercing he’d gotten on a spot on his body that I didn’t know could be pierced. He would be introducing me to his future wife or husband. He would be bringing See's candy when he came to visit Jeff and I at our condo in Leisure Village. My heart beat a little faster. I tried to pull myself back to the moment.

“Sure, sweetheart.” I slipped my hand out of his and sat still on the edge of the bed. A car pulled into the driveway across the street. Our cat padded across the wood floor in the living room.

“So, Mama? That’s not so good. I need your hand back.”

“Okay. I’m right here.” We held hands. I was right there.

29 comments:

  1. You might be living in leisure village, but See's Candy rocks. Hopefully you'll have the choppers for the caramels.

    They grow up so fast. It's nice that you got to hang on to that one bedtime ritual for a little while longer.

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  2. Whoa. Reading this made me well up inside. Dammit all to hell, I hate when that happens. Distant memories are calling.

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  3. I want to cry. What a little man...

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  4. Bob's heart makes me happy.

    I heard there's a salsa dancing class at the Leisure Village in Camarillo. It's pretty hot so there's a waiting list. I signed us up.

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  5. Oh, this made me laugh and get a little teary. There are so many times when I don't want them to get any bigger!

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  6. "I want to hear the world." I think I just fell in love with your little boy.

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  7. Oh that boy.

    I need to remind him I like the "Nuts and Chews".

    That is if I still have my teeth.

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  8. There's a great chapter about mothers and sons in a book called Raising Cain. Boys will always be in state of pulling away or coming back. When we allow them to pull away and try their wings out it is good for them. It is also good when we are the safe place to which they return....and they will return. :)
    This nugget has helped me a TON through out my son's 10 years and I'm in the thick of it right now. Painful as it is, I want to be the soft landing place. Even when I'm residing in Leisure Village. :)
    You are a great mom!

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  9. Baby steps Bob... don't grow up too fast!
    Those milestones are so bittersweet. My kids still listen to their sounds, though I'm not sure they'll ever be as poetic with their reasoning when they're ready for it to be turned off :)

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  10. Oh my God, my heart just broke.

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  11. bob makes me want to say "oh what the hay" and stop secretly taking the pill so obsessed! can finally get his wish of impregnation fulfilled.

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  12. Boys are the best. Even when they grow up and become adults, they still need "your hand" and I love it!

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  13. Another reader in tears. My Mr Almost5 is spreading his wings too. It goes so fast.

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  14. Wow, I love Bob. And you for producing a Bob. Besides the epic "I want to hear the world", that "So Mama, that's not so good..." is like Dylan.
    (We call our sound machine "the ocean" because that's the setting I use. I swiped it from my kid a long time ago.)

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  15. I too teared up at this one. Good stuff, Bob.

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  16. Wait. Did you say he sleeps in his own bed?

    Someday.

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  17. You're right. It's that fast and they're grown. Great, heartwarming post!

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  18. Such a good boy. SUCH a good mama. So blessed to have one another.

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  19. Oh I am not ready for my kid to grow up either. Way too fast for you and for me as I was reading it. From no sounds on the sound machine to not holding your hand? I felt woozy from the quickness of it all!

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  20. How many different ways do I adore Bob?

    Still counting...

    (beautiful post)

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  21. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww that made me tear up and smile. It is nice feeling to know you are still needed.. hug him tightly

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  22. Oh I love this post. It is ASTOUNDING how quickly a "lifetime" habit can change. My firstborn sucked a pacifier for FIVE YEARS!! I never thought she would give it up and one night I walked in with her trip of pacis (one to suck, one to smell, one to squeeze) and she said, just like Bob did, "I don't need them anymore mommy."

    And she was done.

    And I cried.

    And I can still cry if I think too much about it.

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  23. "I want to hear the world." What a kid.

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  24. Can't. Find. Words. Just. Have. Tears. And. Goosebumps. And. A. Really. Bad. Writing. Style.

    Bob, you are THE BEST. You ain't to bad yourself Mama.

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  25. Sweet! And nice to meet you...Ann's Rants sent me over here.

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  26. "He would be introducing me to his future wife or husband."

    If I wasn't already falling in love with your family, this sentence just clinched it. I'm actually teary eyed.

    I am Fickle Cattle.

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