Thursday, March 18, 2010
Two and a half years ago, Bob made the big move out of our bed and into his own. In an effort to reinforce his bedtime routine, we bought him a noise machine, or as he calls it The Sounds. The machine offers eight different themes such as “Sunset Beach”, “Spring Meadow”, and “Creekside.” We let Bob choose his favorite and he went with “Rain Storm.” In his room, it rained all night, every night. It's a miracle that he is not a bed-wetter.
The other evening as I was tucking Bob into bed he said, “I think I’m done with The Sounds.”
“Alright. You mean just for tonight?”
“No, I think I’m done for always. I want to hear the world.”
I turned off The Sounds and thought about this tiny milestone. This was a sneaky one and I hadn’t expected it. It was another nudge from baby to boy. We sat, holding hands and listened. The real sounds of the world offered a distant motorcycle, the barking of a neighbor’s dog, an airplane.
“Mama, I don’t think you need to hold my hand while I fall asleep anymore.”
Now this was too fast. With my next exhale he would be borrowing the car and showing me some piercing he’d gotten on a spot on his body that I didn’t know could be pierced. He would be introducing me to his future wife or husband. He would be bringing See's candy when he came to visit Jeff and I at our condo in Leisure Village. My heart beat a little faster. I tried to pull myself back to the moment.
“Sure, sweetheart.” I slipped my hand out of his and sat still on the edge of the bed. A car pulled into the driveway across the street. Our cat padded across the wood floor in the living room.
“So, Mama? That’s not so good. I need your hand back.”
“Okay. I’m right here.” We held hands. I was right there.