Friday, January 15, 2010

Seriously?

My money is on one of these guys.

We have white sheets on our bed which, save for 10 minutes every Tuesday, are covered in pet hair, sand and dirt clods brought into the house from various mammals. I leaned back against the sort of white pillows today with Bob, who pulled on the raggedy pop-up pages of The New Yellow Bulldozer. Bob stopped suddenly and pointed to a dirt smear on the bed.

"Is that poop?'

"I don't think so, honey. It's probably dirt. Did you smell it?" Bob leaned down to the sheet and took a big whiff. Then the hollering began.

"It's poop! There's poop in the bed! It smells like poop here! Our house is all poo-ed! It's stinky in the house and bed! Everywhere is poops! Poop!" He took off, waving his arms and ran through the living room.

Because taking him at his word would have been too easy, I leaned down and smelled the sheet for myself. He was right. I gagged a little. I lifted Jeff's pillow. More poop smeared there. Who was responsible? As usual with situations of this nature in our house, it could have been anyone. (You know who you are.)

14 comments:

  1. ok that is the grossest and funniest thing I have seen on a blog in a looooong time :)

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  2. Can I say "crap" on mommy blogs?

    Oh, crap!

    :D

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  3. I'm REALLY hoping it's one of the guys in the photo, because otherwise you'd have a stop-by pooper. And that's just disturbing.

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  4. That. Was. Hysterical. I feel bad for the situation, but I love a good poop joke more than a nine year old boy.

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  5. Hilarious. I wish I could say nothing like that has ever happened in my house. But mystery poo and it's origins are never far away. And everyone looking at everyone else with that bad smell face.



    Karen Peterson Matchinga

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  6. And now you have the name of your memoir: Everywhere is Poops

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  7. OMG. The suspense is killing me!!!

    If you went by the age old addage "he who smelt it, dealt it"....it would be Bob. However, I have a dog, and we all know how dangly bits can be present and then smudge on surfaces. EEEEWWWW. Now I'm wanting to gag and I can't smell it.

    Side note - boy, do I have a "mystery poo" story to share..... but that will have to wait in order to protect the not so innocent.

    Happy Friday!

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  8. soo cute! i mean Bob, not the poop

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  9. Time for CSI: South Pas

    And that's the reason I have print sheets. Camouflage.

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  10. OMG! That is one of the funniest things I've read this week :)

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  11. i remember those days! poopy cacka.

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  12. Oh lord... that is SO my house too. I blame the dog. Just waiting for him to die, actually. What?! Is that mean or something?!

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  13. LOL! Notice that every mother with a SON knows what you're going through??? :)

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