Tuesday, January 19, 2010

How To Impress the Junior High Girls On Our Block; A Tutorial by Bob Rosenberg


1. Wear the blue rain boots.

2. Go in the super giant puddle in the street in front of our house, while wearing the blue rain boots.

3. Look for worms in the super giant puddle in front of our house, while wearing the blue rain boots.

4. Systematically rescue worms from drowning in the super giant puddle in front of our house by picking them up and throwing them on to our lawn. (Also throw some on Miss Belva’s lawn as a present.) Worms like lawns but not puddles so much because of the drowning.

5. When the junior high girls on our block ride up on their bikes to look at the super giant puddle, wade up to them in the blue rain boots. Present them with two handfuls of squirmy worms and explain that you are a worm rescuer.

6. When the junior high girls on our block scream and ride away on their bikes, it means that they like you.

9 comments:

  1. So, is that how Mr. R first lured you in?

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  2. Rock on Bob!
    My son would just run around in his chonies.

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  3. How much do I love the word "chonies?"

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  4. This is everything that my 13 year old isn't doing. No wonder he doesn't have a girlfriend.

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  5. <-- taught him everything he knows!

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  6. It doesn't change much as they get older, either! I can't tell you the times my husband has brought me "gifts from the heart".

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  7. screaming while running away is a good thing? Oh,I'm not telling that to any of my dates. In my world, screaming means "you fugly boy, get me outta here."

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  8. leave it to bob, starring lisa as june clever.

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