Thursday, June 25, 2009

Anatomy: 104

The Penis Monologues

Bob is still spending a great deal of energy examining the male/female thing.
Just like the rest of us.

We are in the car on the way to the library.

“Daddy has a penis?” Bob asks.


“I have a penis?”

“Yes you do.”

“Does Pops have a penis?”


“You don’t have a penis.”

“No, I do not.”

“Does Elmo have a penis?”

“Um, no.”

“But Elmo is a boy. He has a penis.”

“Elmo is a muppet, he is pretend, not a boy.”

“Elmo is a boy! He has a boy penis! Elmo is not pretend! I saw him!”

“I’m sorry, you’re right. Elmo has a penis.”

“Bob the Builder? Does Bob the Builder have a penis?”

“Uh… yes?”

“What about Coldplay? What’s that guy’s name?”

“Chris Martin?”

“Does Chris Martin have a penis?”


“Where does he keep it?”

“Trick question.”

“Where is Chris Martin’s penis?’



“The Hamptons?”


  1. This phase will pass in only 12 more years.

  2. And Taylor is being conservative on that number....